Monthly Archives: June 2010

This Week’s Forecast

“1. How can I get closer to making my job and my vocation be the same thing?

2. What am I doing to become an even more robust and confident version of myself?”

The boyfriend is very practical and pragmatic. He also instructed me the other week to subscribe to my freewill astrology so he wouldn’t have to read it to me over the phone when the news was urgent. This week’s forecast is clear instructions- unfortunately all the changing and growing I’ve been doing this year is just the start.

Job vs. vocation is most vexing and lately I’ve been soothing myself with the ideas a) I’m very lucky to have any job. b) my job is often satisfying intellectually emotionally and communitywise. Sooooo- isn’t that enough for now? Do I really neeeeed to get paid to make feminist comedies? That sounds much more difficult than just going to work everyday. Evidence that I’ve been doing Summer Reading for 30 years.

Mugging for the Camera

Isn’t Alli beautiful? It is hard to be looked at directly with a camera and remain still.

Yesterday’s Storm at the Depot

image of a storm

Attention and Judgment

When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

This is one of my favorite Buddhist sayings. I think it when I’m having an unpleasant reaction to a patron or when the boyfriend does or says something unexpected. I’m learning so much! The phrase comforts me because I think I can go into each situation thoughtfully, with a nice blank new notebook and that I’m not expected to know all the answers right now.

Last winter’s resolutions have been so resolved as to be meaningless to this summer’s self. (did I really wonder that? did I really think that other thing was an option?) But this summer’s questions feel urgent. In her book Rapt Winifred Gallagher makes a scientific set of arguments for slowing down and paying attention as a way to better mental and physical health. Does this mean that if we were all better listeners, we wouldn’t be in economic and environmental Armageddon? Why yes.

On the other hand- see what I did there? I started off talking about how I am learning from situations that irritate or surprise or confuse me and I ended up with a lecture on how other people need to stop driving etc…. This is judgmental. Looking to what others should be doing or not doing instead of keeping my eyes on my own paper. Watching and comparing and competing is an exhausting habit. That is my summer resolution: to keep my eyes on my own paper.

Checking in on New Year’s Resolutions

So, two days ago I was reading my resolutions and thought: These were written by a completely different person.

Yesterday I wrote some new resolutions. When I reread them this morning I thought Who the hell wrote these?

The mind is a changeable creature. Thoughts! Who needs them?

How to Make a Crab Cake by January Gill O’Neil

Check out my neighbor’s fantastic Poem Video!  This is such a great idea.

Dadliness/ More Sourdough

breadHappy Father’s Day, here’s more pictures of bread. Great dadliness requires patience and endless encouragement with little expectation of results- just like sourdough.

I punched down the sad blob and left it in my steamy apartment for the day while I was at work because I couldn’t bear to throw it out. When I got home, after rising for 36 hours or so, the dough looked ready to bake. And it came out carmelized crusty, chewy, sour and full of big delicious air holes. Wow! Wild creatures were trapped and tamed to make this bread!

This is an amazing planet.

Failure to Rise: Wild Yeast Pain au Levain

not worth baking.

Conclusion: Instant Yeast is a great invention. Like plumbing, the pasta machine, printing and maple syrup. I may throw in a bit of the wild stuff for flavor, but it cannot be relied upon as leavening unless you are building it up and baking everyday.

Somerville Pain au Levain

Following Peter Reinhart’s instructions, I harvested yeast from the Somerville air and slept with the culture under my pillow every night for a month. But check out the sweet loaf! This version calls for both wild and instant yeast, I’m trying it tomorrow with only the wild. Will post results.

Museum Club/ Three Girl Birthday

Remembering fondly last year’s awesome keg/gun party in the hills, this year I chose a more refined way to celebrate my birthday. Museum Club style. That’s me, Nick, Aunt Margery (also her birthday), Grandma Jean (her birthday observed), and my brother Greg waiting to hear the illustrious Jules Feiffer, cartoonist and children’s book author, speak at the Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art. We are a cute and happy bunch thanks to Rebecca’s photography and instruction. It was a great day.