Attention and Judgment

When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

This is one of my favorite Buddhist sayings. I think it when I’m having an unpleasant reaction to a patron or when the boyfriend does or says something unexpected. I’m learning so much! The phrase comforts me because I think I can go into each situation thoughtfully, with a nice blank new notebook and that I’m not expected to know all the answers right now.

Last winter’s resolutions have been so resolved as to be meaningless to this summer’s self. (did I really wonder that? did I really think that other thing was an option?) But this summer’s questions feel urgent. In her book Rapt Winifred Gallagher makes a scientific set of arguments for slowing down and paying attention as a way to better mental and physical health. Does this mean that if we were all better listeners, we wouldn’t be in economic and environmental Armageddon? Why yes.

On the other hand- see what I did there? I started off talking about how I am learning from situations that irritate or surprise or confuse me and I ended up with a lecture on how other people need to stop driving etc…. This is judgmental. Looking to what others should be doing or not doing instead of keeping my eyes on my own paper. Watching and comparing and competing is an exhausting habit. That is my summer resolution: to keep my eyes on my own paper.