Cat in the Sun

How do you make decisions? Me, I use my “active imagination.” I imagine each possibility and research it fully, really getting into the mindset of, say, a round the world bicyclist. The gear, the flights, deferring student loan payments, missing friends. And then I take a reading. Is this really the direction I want to go in? How do I feel when I say this is what I’m doing? I poll friends and family, declaring my intentions and recording their responses. (i.e. “I’m going to Bangladesh next year to teach English at a women’s high school, will you watch my dog?”) Scott has caught on to this method and agrees to nearly anything, knowing the likelihood of its actually happening to be nil. I fear the boyfriend has also figured out this technique.
Despite all this scheming and dreaming when I actually make decisions, they come from a completely separate part of my brain. Practical calculations and transactions are executed swiftly and without fuss. Loved ones are trusted to be on board. It’s like a magic trick where there is a lot of business (shuffling cards, rabbits in hats) up front to distract the eye while the real work is smooth and out of sight.
What does this have to do with a sleeping cat? I would like there to be less smoke and mirrors and more resting and pouncing.

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Author: Emily

Writer/ Librarian

3 thoughts on “Cat in the Sun”

  1. love this post! what a great description of the process. i often think that all the discussion, pro & con lists, asking around for feedback is really just a way to get to to a point where we can verbalize what we knew deep down inside all along. that the conflict surrounding some decisions exists because in our heart we know what we want but there are social mores we feel we ought to subscribe to, or our own personal fears or limitations we might cave to, etc. when we can finally come to a decision, we are able to say yeah, i know i outlined all these rational points about why A would be the “good” choice but what i REALLY want is B.

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