a modern tugboat

I spend a lot of time researching and playing out various scenarios especially regarding my two favorite things: exploring and work. I used to do this with dating, scheming and dreaming about people I didn’t know and how our lives might intertwine. And with some of these possibilities settled I’ve added a new unsatisfying research topic: real estate.

But I’ve noticed that when it comes to actually making an important decision, there is a strong inner voice that speaks up and says yes or no and will not be moved. I applied to one college. I knew I was getting married the night of my third date with Nick. I wanted to live by the park, so we live by the park. Of course these decisions are based on extensive research, because I like research but the voice made them easy. I wonder where the voice comes from and if I can rely on it more.

According to my reading on habits, 40 percent of what we do in a given day is on autopilot and if we can set those habits up in a healthy way, that leaves our decision making and will power to be used on more important topics. I would like to develop my inner voice listening skills to compliment my healthy habits. I do a lot of bargaining with myself “I should do this, I owe it to them, a good person would” instead of listening to that steady voice that says “Nope.”


Author: Emily

Writer/ Librarian

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